do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Say something about gay babies.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
