They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
