He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
