Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
love makes seman taste better
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
