$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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