If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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