Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
