i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
