The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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