We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
