The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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