ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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