Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
