Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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