I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You ruined the universe
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
