You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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