We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
