Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
