my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
