it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
