also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He passed out mid-signature
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
