Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
