Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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