i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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