Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
