My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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