so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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