nut hugger
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
