Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
