Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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