party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
