Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
that is very illegal...i love you.
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