I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
