Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
