:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
