i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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