just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
