you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
