If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
