I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
