Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
