How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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