Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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