her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
