He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We are all done wearing pants today
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
