i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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