just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
