Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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