i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He? As in you personified your dick?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This toilet bowl is my home.
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