I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
