wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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