worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
