So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
